Smile was my gift,
Caring my habit,
Forgiving my virtue
Now they lie in my ‘useless kit’
Soft and gentle like a petal
Sweet and innocent, I was
When realities forced on me
Making me realize that all was fatal.
Going through thick and thin;
Without any help
Wandering like a dried leaf,
I committed many sin.
Looked up and saw
My flaws and no perfection
Forgetting what made me like this
Everyone forced onto me a new law.
Still, I thank God
Yes, I do
For making me what I am
Never saying adieu.
A superlative work indeed! Again, you have a knack of expressing your emotions beautifully. I especially loved the short phrases you used throughout the poem. They conveyed a lot in a few, simple words.
ReplyDeleteExcellent Job....
ReplyDeleteSeems like u have started writing poems years back...
thanks Shivam....
ReplyDeleten Thanks Punit...
haha... "useless kit" .. very, very smart use of words!! :D :D
ReplyDelete"Wandering like a dried leaf,
I committed many sin."
i think this would sound better if it was:
"Wandering like a dead leaf,
I committed many a sin."
what do u think?
also, I like it that even though you started off with a negative tinge, you have ended with a positive hue :) i like that!
lol Di,
ReplyDeleteaapke n mere khayal kitne milte jhulte hain...
originally i had written " a sin" only.. bt it wasn't going with the flow. Because here, i'm trying to make ppl understand that i have committed many sins, and not one. So if i put "a sin" it would become to precise...!!